i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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