I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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