dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
