I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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