Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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