Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize