If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
