I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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