She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
