You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
