2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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