is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
