Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
