Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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