Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
