i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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