i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
3pm strippers are depressing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize