Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize