I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
