eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
