the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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