I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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