I heard we made out
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
