my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
