I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
