You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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