let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
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