I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
