All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
