Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
