at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
