I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
