I cut my penus on the lid.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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