What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize