Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
