i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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