Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
