I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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