I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize