I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
