He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
