So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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