Small penises have feelings too.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
