Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
