Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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