I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
A+ Viking dick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
