so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
