I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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