Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
