we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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