Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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