I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
