I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
