Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
