They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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