Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
