two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
