that's an acceptable place to lick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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