i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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