Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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