If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
